I take a swig of my water bottle. I wipe the sweat off my brow. And I glance up at the scoreboard, with a nervous squint. Tie game.
My grade 7 basketball coach is drawing, what looks to be a game of X’s and 0’s on a mini white board, and he’s all business. All business, as if this one game is THE defining moment for his career.
The whistle blows, and I race back onto the court.
The ball gets thrown to me, and with every ounce of skill I have, I drive hard towards the net. I can hear the energy from the crowd. They’re cheering me on!
Somehow, no one is around me, and I do a quick one two step for a layup. Swish! I nail it!
Only to realize that I just scored on the other team’s net.
Worse yet? The other team ended up winning the game. By 2 points.
Growing up, I always told myself I was a good basketball player. I watched all my dad’s games. We shot hoops in the backyard together. It was in the genes. I was destined to be MVP.
But that moment. That moment changed everything for me. All of a sudden, I started to tell myself that I was a horrible basketball player. And guess what? I was.
Your body believes what your mind tells it. And like it or not….good or bad…..your body will listen to the boss….your own mind.
One of my all-time favourite rituals with my kiddos, is a short meditation before they go to bed. Sometimes they rustle around. Sometimes they pick their noses. But every now and then, magic happens, and they’re into it.
My favourite meditation is one that includes affirmations. And I absolutely love it, because I adore the sound of my four-year old daughter’s sweet little voice repeating things like: “I am unique,” and “I am confident.”
But aside from that, I also love it, because it works.
Just the other day, my daughter looked at herself in the mirror after putting on her tutu for ballet class, and she said, without hesitation, “I am beautiful.”
Coincidence? No fucking way.
Guys, it is my life’s passion to teach my own children to believe in themselves, no matter what others say or think about them. Their self-worth is not determined by what others think.
And for me to truly convey that message with conviction….I need to live it myself. I need to embody those beliefs. And I need to know my shit so well, that it comes as second nature.
As we round the corner on Valentine’s Day, I remind myself of this.
I don’t need to wait for permission. I don’t need someone else to tell me who I am. I get to decide.
But first, I need to believe it.
And on this journey of self-love, as a single, independent woman, I have realized that the best way to love myself is to have confidence in who I am. And to give myself the gift of self-assuredness.
My own son is convinced that he is going to be an NHL goalie one day. He knows what he loves. He believes in his own talent. And he unashamedly dreams big!
Guys, believe in the power of your own mind. Know that you are setting yourself up for success. Or failure. Depending on your perspective.
Everyone has some place they want to go. Better health. More free time. A deeper relationship. Financial independence. A fulfilling career.
But you can’t get there unless you take command of where you’re going.
So many people are afraid to sail into the high seas. But as the saying goes, “a ship in port is safe….but that’s not what ships were built for.”
I have a list a mile long of who I believe I am.
But don’t worry. I’m not hankering for the role of point guard in the WNBA. LA Lakers Cheerleader? Maybe.